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+1 Spam mail (#40310)

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* 2nd edition

* remove OOC

* oop

* double oops
This commit is contained in:
IProduceWidgets
2025-09-13 03:15:10 -04:00
committed by GitHub
parent 659648b03d
commit a4b7cd73c5
3 changed files with 16 additions and 2 deletions
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12
Resources/Locale/en-US/delivery/delivery-spam.ftl
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@@ -266,3 +266,15 @@ delivery-spam-12 = Join us on the maiden voyage!
{"[italic]*Phosphorus lakes are not for swimming, you waive all rights to legal representations with Relaxination Destinations upon landing on Galimar.[/italic]"}
{"[italic]**Eye of the Cosmos must not be looked at for longer than five seconds at a time. You do not hear the call of the Eye.[/italic]"}
{"[italic]***Must sign safety waiver before landing, Relaxination Destinations does not guarantee the safety of the Agatharian ruins. Disappearances of tour groups are down to an acceptable margin of 0.23% of all tour groups that visit the ruins.[/italic]"}
delivery-spam-13 = paper
.desc = A letter to the editor.
.content = To whom it may concern,
The famous Adventures of Ian and Renault book series is one that is enjoyed by young children and at least one severely dyslexic lizard (don't worry, I got better). However, there was an error in the publication, as Ian and Renault would never make a mistake writing. It appears that in The Adventures of Ian and Renault: An Arctic Journey of Courage and Friendship, two lines from The Adventures of Ian and Renault: Exploring the City were used.
This made no sense. How did Ian and Renault find a little kitten in the Arctic? What was the little kitten doing there? Why were Ian and Renault doing more than average today? And the worst offender is the second misplaced line, which is "As the day turned to night, they were exhausted abut happy from their adventure in the city" (Ian and Renault, 1). OH, SORRY!!! I'M NOT AWARE THAT THERE'S A CITY IN THE ARCTIC!!! THAT THEY JUST STOPPED AT. YOU KNOW. FOR A COFFEE. OH WAIT!! COFFEE KILLS DOGS AND FOXES!!!!!!!!! WHO WOULD PUBLISH THIS!!!!! YOU'VE JUST KILLED IAN AND RENAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And what did you get for killing Ian and Renault. Hmm? A slightly longer book? You need that longer book, don't you? Longer books sell for more, do they? You wanted to make more money?
LOOK AT WHERE THAT GOT YOU. YOU'VE KILLED THE TWO. CONGRATS.
THERE WILL BE NO MORE SEQUELS NOW.
HOW'S THAT FOR MAKING MONEY???? IT SUCKS????
{"["}bold]WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE KILLED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/bold]

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Resources/Prototypes/Datasets/deliveries.yml
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@@ -2,4 +2,4 @@
id: DeliverySpamLetters
values:
prefix: delivery-spam-
count: 12
count: 13

4
Resources/Prototypes/Entities/Objects/Misc/books_author.yml
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@@ -358,7 +358,9 @@
parent: BookBase
id: BookIanArctic
name: the adventures of ian and renault - an arctic journey of courage and friendship
description: The book looks new and adventurous, with a picture of Ian and Renault standing in front of an icy landscape with snowflakes falling all around them. The title, "The Adventures of Ian and Renault," is written in bold letters at the top, with a subtitle that reads, "An Arctic Journey of Courage and Friendship."
description: |
The book looks new and adventurous, with a picture of Ian and Renault standing in front of an icy landscape with snowflakes falling all around them. The title, "The Adventures of Ian and Renault," is written in bold letters at the top, with a subtitle that reads, "An Arctic Journey of Courage and Friendship."
2nd Edition.
components:
- type: Sprite
sprite: Objects/Misc/books.rsi