From 62172fcbc9303f8f84275c9aefd11b6713559b9e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jake Paul Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2025 04:59:40 -0600 Subject: [PATCH] New journal --- 11-24-25.txt | 54 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 54 insertions(+) create mode 100644 11-24-25.txt diff --git a/11-24-25.txt b/11-24-25.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6ef334b --- /dev/null +++ b/11-24-25.txt @@ -0,0 +1,54 @@ +Suicide Prevention Rationale - Working Title + +** IMPORTANT PREFACE: If you or someone you know is at risk of suicidal ideation, this post is not 10,000% based in fact +- this is my personal experience with ideation. I urge you to seek guidance elsewhere as my experience is +NOT INDICATIVE OF YOURS! There are many crisis lines all over the world - please seek them out. You matter!!!! ** + +It's hard being- ... It's hard *being*!!! Wherever you are, however easy or hard you may have it, it's +hard *being.* We live in a time where it's so much uncertainty, and even if we didn't, we as people are +bound to feel uncertain about the time we live in. + +I've had a lot happen around me this year. People close to me passed, friends faded away, a relationship +had a bitter ending and it just hasn't felt like a great year in some spots. I won't say that this year +hasn't been graceful to me - I had to have a relationship for it to have a bitter ending, I had to have +friends for them to fade away, etc. etc. But when you're experiencing them first-hand (some of these +experiences were for the first time,) you can't do much but sit and wonder "Man... I hate this right +now! This is suffering! This is all suffering!" + +I won't say suicidal ideation is a new concept to me - kids saying that "they wanted to die" when they +were 12 and edgy was a funny trend, but you never really believe that you want to die until something +happens that you feel is too heavy to bear. However, I've always had a very definite look on it - +it's bigger than just me. + +For me (again, read the preface,) I'm at a "turning point in my life" and I "have a lot of people +watching me." Although true, as I have older and younger siblings, and many relatives that call to +pester my parents about us, it always feels a bit false. Who the hell'd want to watch me? But +with all that said, I ultimately concluded that the aftermath would be bigger than me. I would +repeat something in my head: + +- "Nothing will change." My situation won't get better. +- "Nothing will change." No one will call me. +- "Nothing will change." Well shit, they're definitely not going to call you then. +- "Nothing will change." Your parents will keep crying, probably harder. + +.. You get the point, hopefully. Another point of this rationale would be from my faith in God. While +I will be the first to admit that I am not the best or most consistent Christian, I will say that I +believe that He exists. I believe that I wake up every day for a reason. Whether that's to laugh, cry +or jerk off, I couldn't tell you, but I believe that God gives me another day because He believes in +me. He believes in us all. + +If that's not your cup of tea, replace God with Science or something, man. Kidding. + +I will take this time to point out that the idea that "suicide is selfish" is stupid - it is not selfish +to want to take away your pain. But it is also not a selfless act. Believe it or not, there are people +out there that care about you, or will care about you, or have cared about you in the past. It's all a +matter of reaching out. Friends, family, a crisis hotline, a worm... anyone will listen if you let them +listen to you. + +My friend unexp pointed out that these points of rationale really require strength. I believe all of you reading this +post have strength. Whether mental or physical, all of you have it. Remember that. Crying don't make you weak nigga. +CRY. CRY!!!!!! + +Lots of love and sobriety over here. Be safe this November. + + - Lua \ No newline at end of file